How to Handle Workplace Bullying: Expert Tips for Dealing with Toxic Coworkers

Bullying isn’t something left behind in the schoolyard. In fact, the modern workplace is often a breeding ground for toxic behaviors that can make going to work unbearable.

A 2021 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute found that around 30% of adult Americans experience abusive behavior at work, and 66% are aware of bullying within their organizations.

Toxic behaviors like gaslighting, shaming, and gossiping are also reportedly on the rise, creating unhealthy and unproductive work environments.

But what should you do if you find yourself facing a workplace bully? Experts agree on three main strategies: be direct with the bully while avoiding escalation, document everything, and lean on managers and coworkers for support.

In more severe cases, especially involving physical or discriminatory bullying, employees should turn to Human Resources (HR) immediately for intervention.

The Importance of Standing Up for Yourself

One of the most important steps when dealing with a workplace bully is to stand up for yourself and confront the issue head-on. Experts recommend addressing the situation calmly and professionally.

“When facing a rude or aggressive coworker, it’s essential to stay calm and professional,” says Daniel Grace, Director of International HR Consulting at IRIS Software Group. “Avoiding emotional reactions helps to prevent escalating the situation further.”

However, it’s equally important not to internalize the bully’s behavior. Heidi Brooks, Senior Lecturer at the Yale School of Management, emphasizes that employees should remember the bully’s behavior reflects their own issues, not the target’s.

“Bullying is about the bully—it’s their character and integrity at stake,” she explains.

Maintaining a level-headed approach is crucial, as reacting emotionally could further fuel the conflict.

Experts also suggest that confronting the bully can sometimes lead to finding common ground or ending the negative behavior.

According to Gabrielle Davis, Career Trend Expert at Indeed, “Addressing the situation directly with the bully can sometimes lead to more efficient working relationships.”

Document Everything: A Critical Step

One of the most crucial steps in handling workplace bullying is documenting every incident. Keeping a record of dates, times, and details can provide solid evidence if the issue escalates.

“If you feel targeted, document everything in detail. The faintest ink is more reliable than the sharpest memory,” says Andrew McCaskill, a career expert at LinkedIn.

This record will be invaluable if you need to take the issue to HR or higher management. It helps to create a clear picture of ongoing negative behavior, rather than leaving it as a one-off event that can be easily dismissed.

Documenting incidents is also essential when informal resolutions don’t work. If the situation remains unresolved or worsens, it becomes necessary to follow internal grievance procedures.

Leveraging Coworkers and Managers as Allies

Bullying rarely goes unnoticed by others in the office. When a toxic coworker harasses someone, chances are that bystanders are aware of the behavior. In such cases, coworkers can serve as valuable allies.

“Colleagues can play a huge role in interrupting bullying in the moment,” says Brianna Caza, Associate Professor at the University of North Carolina.

If someone is being harassed in a meeting or in front of others, bystanders should stand up and advocate for their coworker. A supportive environment can disrupt toxic behaviors and prevent further harassment.

But coworkers aren’t the only potential allies—managers should also be involved. If confronting the bully directly doesn’t work, talking to your manager is the next step.

According to Tamara Rodman, Senior Partner at Korn Ferry, managers should take on the responsibility of having corrective conversations with employees who exhibit inappropriate behavior.

Table: Steps to Address Workplace Bullying

Step	Action	Outcome
1. Confront the bully	Address the situation calmly and professionally	Establish boundaries, potentially resolve the situation
2. Document everything	Record incidents, dates, times, and interactions	Create a trail of evidence for future action
3. Speak to coworkers	Lean on colleagues for support in stopping the behavior	Build a support network, disrupt bullying
4. Talk to your manager	Inform the manager about the issue and request intervention	Managerial intervention to correct the behavior
5. Go to HR if needed	If unresolved, take the issue to Human Resources	HR intervention for a formal resolution

Escalating to HR: When to Involve Human Resources

If addressing the bully directly or involving your manager doesn’t solve the problem, HR is the next line of defense. In fact, experts recommend going to HR immediately in cases of physical harassment or discrimination.

“HR is not only a last resort—sometimes it’s the first step,” says one expert. “Especially when the bully is in a position of power, or if addressing them directly feels unsafe.” In such cases, HR has the tools and authority to investigate and take appropriate action.

It’s important to remember that HR’s role is not just to resolve conflicts but also to protect employees’ rights and well-being. When informal resolutions fail, HR can step in to enforce company policies and procedures.

The Role of Managers in Creating a Positive Work Culture

The responsibility to address workplace bullying ultimately lies with managers and leadership teams. A 2023 report by The Muse found that 41% of employees blame their direct supervisors for creating or perpetuating a toxic work environment.

This highlights the critical role that managers play in fostering a healthy, respectful company culture.

If a manager isn’t proactive or even contributes to the problem, employees should bypass them and go straight to HR. No employee should be left to fend for themselves in a toxic work environment.

Final Thoughts

Bullying in the workplace is a serious issue that affects not only the target but the entire team dynamic.

Addressing it requires a combination of direct confrontation, careful documentation, and leveraging support systems within the organization.

Whether confronting a bully directly, leaning on colleagues, or escalating the issue to management or HR, employees should never feel alone in tackling workplace harassment.

For more in-depth career advice and strategies for managing workplace challenges, visit ImpactWealth.Org.

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